Poor man's view of the world

Why is it that ALL human beings (from the absolutely disorganised to the "Monica" organised) have a love-hate relationship with keys?

Do you know anyone who has never misplaced keys? Such an exceptional human being probably does not exist on ToGg's great green earth.

Keeping this unique relationship (of humans and keys) in mind, I am proposing the following inviolable laws:

Poor man's first basic law of keys
If you have a key, it will be lost.

Poor man's second basic law of keys
If you do not have a key, you will lose someone else's key.

Poor man's third basic law of keys
If you have lost a key, it will be found when you don't need it anymore.

Poor man's first complex law of keys
The probability of losing a key at time “t” is directly proportional to the urgency of using the key at time “t+n”

Poor man's second complex law of keys
The probability of losing the keys of a person “y” is directly proportional to how much “y” can make your life miserable.

Poor man's third complex law of keys
The probability of finding a key at time “t” is inversely proportional to the number of people looking for the key (“x”) and inversely proportional to the urgency of using the key at time “t+n”

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